They thought we had it all.
As it all came to fall.
The pain we were left to bear.
As we wondered, do they even care?
A new day is here, after 5 beautiful years have passed.
Joy we feel now, our expectations its surpassed.
Hints of sadness linger
As I wipe her tear with my finger.
These Holidays are different, we know
As we try to show gratitude for the past long ago
Their little voices ask “why aren’t they married anymore”
As we respond “their love took a trip to another, amour”
We love our new Papa, he’s the best you could ask for.
The love that surrounds us, we could not ask for more.
Thankful, are we, though the pain is still real.
We acknowledge the pain and allow ourselves to feel.
Holidays are different and we will persevere.
As our gratitude grows from that one small tear.
This isn’t the Thanksgiving we dreamed of as kids. It isn’t the family holiday we envisioned when we both had babies. The holiday where our parents anxiously awaited our arrival as we all showed up on their doorstep with those grand-babies they longed to squeeze and spoil.
My sister and I were their first babies and their first to get married. Their marriage lasted 30 years and we were both married by the time it ended. It is common. But, that makes it no less painful.
Now, we are each others backbones. When she cries, I cry. When she laughs, I laugh. If she’s in a mood, her husband, my husband and I team up to tease her until she laughs. She’s more forgiving when I chime in because she knows it’s innocent.
We weren’t always close. She didn’t understand my vivacious extroverted personality or my ability to make friends within seconds. I didn’t understand her introversion or her need for quiet time to read a good book, or sometimes 50 of them. Now, my strengths are her strengths and her strengths are my strengths. I am grateful for her.
She was the first to have kids. We all traveled together and had a big “family reunion” of sorts with the traditional American meal of Turkey, stuffing, cranberries (for mom!), black olives (for me!), green olives (for her!), and all of the other fixings. Then, our Holidays changed.
10 years, one divorce, and 6 beautiful grand-babies later our holidays look quite different. Some parts are typical: our kids run around like they just finished their bucket of halloween candy…for the 15th time. Meanwhile her husband and mine talk sports and pick on us as we raise our voices in unison throwing it right back at them. The laughs are as intense and precious as they were those sweet 10 years ago.
We are grateful and surrounded by love with a smaller group of family now. We are thankful for our parents happiness, though it is different than what we dreamed of.
In our minds, we are what we have left of the family we once had. Our babies will know this new family. We teach them gratitude and acceptance around things you cannot control as we choke back the tears of what once was.
Love. They have it. We have it. We are lucky.
Holidays bring out the pain laced with joy. As we learn to embrace each other a little more.
Always in love,
