Minimalism & Motherhood: is it even possible?

“Why do we have so many toys!?”

“We have so much stuff, I cannot take it anymore!”

“You have more toys than you know what to do with!”

No way, these phrases don’t sound familiar at all. (Insert eye roll emoji)

I grew up on a farm in the middle of North Dakota; God’s country as my dad refers to it; hence the reference in my post about living in North Dakota.

If you have ever been to a farm, most times you will realize it is typically the antonym of minimalism.

Machinery, buildings, lawn mowers, sleds, tools…and that is just the stuff you can see as you drive in.

My husband also grew up on a farm.

Merge those two upbringings together and you could potentially have a recipe for disaster.

Lucky for me, I have never had much of an attachment to things, so I guess you could say the idea of minimalism was always part of my thought process. I love throwing, donating, or just ridding my surroundings of things. Then, a few years ago some of my favorites came to Fargo to share their journey and I was able to get Eric to really jump on board with this lifestyle as well. I highly recommend checking out their book if you haven’t already.

Since moving to Fargo, one of my favorite weeks of the year is Clean Up Week. I am that big of a nerd. Yay me. It probably drives Eric insane with how much I try to get rid of…not probably, definitely.

It just does something for me; getting rid of stuff. It frees my mind and having a home free of clutter (including our storage room, yes, no joke!) is such a therapeutic feeling. Again, YAY for nerdy me!

Ahhh the tranquility of no stuff…

As I say this, I look around and realize “Oh man, we don’t need that, or that, or that”…always work to be done, prepare to be driven crazy again, Eric.

I have had a lot of people recently comment on how neat and  ‘minimalist’ my office at work is, earning me yet another nickname: “Miss Minimalist”. The follow up comment or question always is how do I maintain that lifestyle at home with two small kids?

What?! These two beautiful creatures never make messes. They. Are. Perfect.

Like most things in life: it is not easy.

So, here are a few things we have chosen to follow:

When I was pregnant with Nova, I asked Eric how he felt about implementing a rule, a rule that I thought would keep our sanity and help support our teaching of what we value in life. Naturally, he braced himself, because my ideas are never the norm and always a little out there. He loves it. It keeps his life exciting.

So I suggested:

You get a toy: You give a toy.

and we had a long discussion, he loved it, and we implemented it.

It was simple, but it set the standard for us. I truly believe that when children have less they are forced to use their imagination in many ways: problem solving, story telling, and many more. I am creative but I am a business woman, so I know from experience that creativity follows and supports you in more ways than in the arts. It challenges your mind the way it should be challenged. It also equips you to handle difficult situations in unconventional ways.

Creativity case in point: we used to allow my 3 year old daughter, Nova to take 2 figurines to bed. This was until she started creating the lengthiest stories that she would keep herself awake for hours. We took them away, and she no longer can have toys in bed.

Problem solved? Nope.

Now, she uses her hands as figurines and her hands talk to each other. It’s fantastic. And a little maddening.

This is her play area in our home. The other half of this room is our home office.

We currently keep Knox’s toys in one basket in a separate room. He is 11 months, and obviously cannot share in the small toys yet. Once he is older, they will split these 4 cubbyholes and get two each. Ours are from Pottery Barn Kids but there are less expensive and great quality ones here They’re incredible, and one of the best investments we’ve made.

If it doesn’t fit in the play area, we discuss an exception and an amount of toys to give away to justify keeping it.

Yeah, I’m the meanest mom ever, and as my mom once said “one day they’ll thank me”. Ha!

We live near both sets of grandparents and as you all know, grandparents love to spoil. So, we implemented rules that worked for us.

Nova currently has 1 exception toy and Knox has 2 which he has almost outgrown. Nova has a baby stroller that she often takes to the “grocery store”, not the real grocery store, our kitchen ha! Knox has a jumper and a walker.

Outdoor toys are separate from indoor toys. If it doesn’t fit in our small outdoor shed for winter, we find a new home for it.

Mind you, our outdoor shed is already full of lawn chairs, 2 mowers, rakes and more…

Nova has grown up with this mentality. If she gets a toy, she now goes to “her office” as she refers to it and digs to the back of her cubby and chooses a toy she no longer plays with. She refers to it as “it’s going to another little girl”. I love that.

I can’t implement these rules for them if I don’t follow some myself.

So, I have always been a shoe-a-holic… #guilty

A few years ago I purged my closet and started to only allow myself a new pair of shoes if I got rid of an old pair. I do the same with clothing, home decor and…wait for it…makeup. Which, as much as I love Target, and Ulta, it’s a challenge!

Speaking of stores…whether right or wrong…if they happen to go shopping with me, they know (or at least Nova thus far) that we are not buying a toy. However, I always allow her to hold a new toy for the whole shopping trip and play with it. As we are checking out she always gives it to the cashier and says “we are not getting this, ok?” I started doing this when she was about Knox’s age and she loves it. The cashier, well, he or she probably hates me.

Eric has really embraced this minimalist lifestyle as well. I don’t know if he will ever be as passionate about it as I am but he sure enjoys giggling at my passionate ways. Just last night, Nova wanted to keep 2 baskets I was no longer using for photo props and I said we needed to get rid of both of them. Through this conversation with my 3 year old, I found out apparently she uses them as cages for her ponies…so we negotiated and I agreed to keeping 1 as long as she got rid of 2 toys (hey, these baskets were big!) Eric watched us discuss it and laughed at me.

I’m glad I can be his entertainment at times too.

Minimalism looks different for every person and family. Small steps make a huge difference. Start with your spice cabinet or utensil drawer…

Are you in a minimalist mindset or am I the only crazy mom out there?