Can you play with me, Mama?

Yes, honey, just a second.

…Oh, how those seconds fly…and she becomes quiet as she patiently waits for me to be done doing whatever incredibly important thing I’m doing. Oh yes, we all know how important it is to cook supper, fold laundry, wash dishes, sweep the floor, mow the lawn, and check emails.

I work full-time away from home and give my best every day in my job. I get home and I try to do the exact same thing with my favorites, but you know what? That doesn’t always happen.

I once told Eric

“I feel like I wake up fueled to give my best, then get home and you guys get the rest.”

Did I mention I’m a poet?

Nova has been obsessed with My Little Pony and all their figurines for over a year now. She saw it in theaters with Grandma and Grandpa and hasn’t stopped talking about it since. And when I say obsessed, I mean she takes them everywhere, she knows every single one of their names…mind you, these are not simple names like “Sarah” or “Rachel”…they are Twilight Sparkle, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash oh and wait for it Fizzle Pop Berry Twist…

She wants me to make them talk, to make up a story.

She listens to every word I say and then will use those words back at me when we play in the future, so you can’t phone this in, she wants your full attention and participation.

She deserves it too.

It’s exhausting. It’s a blast, because at 3 years old she talks like she is 20, but it’s exhausting after a long day at work.

She doesn’t care. What she cares about is the fact that I have been gone between 8-10 hours and I’m finally home and she has a mere 3 hours with me before she goes to bed. These hours count and she knows they are limited so she wants to fill them with fun.

She wants Knox involved and for us to laugh and make these ponies ride on invisible boats as a storm approaches and capsizes them. Oh yes, those are Nova’s words. I’m sure it came from one of the many adults willing to play with her or some YouTube video. Side note, who knew you could become famous by making figurines talk and filming it? Random.

I pride myself on being present, eliminating distraction and focusing on what matters most to me, but I fail a lot.
Love languages matter, and though she’s only 3, I know her love language is quality time with a close second of words of affirmation. She thrives off time with me and her daddy, individually and together. If I choose to not participate in playing with her, in her mind, I am basically telling her I don’t love her. She deserves my time.

If you have not read the book The Five Love Languages, or learned yours and your loved one’s languages, I recommend it. We tend to speak in the language we need and not in the language our loved ones need and it’s so important to understand what they need to feel loved.

I’ve learned to incorporate her figurines into making supper with me. They participate in our workout sessions and do push-ups as we do. They watch as we eat supper.

But do you know how many times I have said “yes, honey, just a second” and 30 minutes later I realize she is now playing by herself as I’m still trying to finish up something as measly as sweeping the floor?

Too many times.

As moms we naturally put a lot of pressure on ourselves to be available to everyone. Your boss needs you to work some overtime so you oblige because you can’t afford to lose your job. Your neighbor needs help so you oblige. Your in-laws need you to attend an event so you oblige even though you’re exhausted.

You say yes, to everyone, all day long…but then the little voices at the end of the day that ask you

“Will you play with me?”

“Will you lay with me for 5 minutes, mama”

You cut them short, say no, or don’t have time for.

Why do we do this, mama’s? Why do we only give our babies ‘the rest’?

I was 10 years old when my best friends 5 year old brother died in a horrific tractor accident. He was with his daddy. It was sudden, horrible, and it is not something you ever get over.

He was a lover. He was sweet. He had a lisp and tiny speech impediment that I will never forget. His mama and daddy loved him so dearly.

I think of this much too often as my daughter gets closer to that age.

If they ask you to play, you will never regret saying yes. Time is something you can never get back.

Drop the broom.

Put your phone on silent.

Ignore the dishes.

Give them the gift of your time.

It feels good and you will witness joy like you’ve never felt.

I said yes to time yesterday. We worked out together, then laid on the ground laughing and staring at the leaves. And as I put her to bed last night she asked about God and why she can’t see him.

“But where is he mom, I just can never see him.”

“He lives in Heaven honey, with Jesus and Mary.”

“Do them have wings like the Angel and kids downstairs” (referring to a small statue we have)

“Yes they do baby.”

“Maybe us can get some wings too mama and fly up there to be with them?”

As I choked back tears I said…

“Yes, baby, we will be with them one day.”

“Maybe tomorrow we can be with them. When I’m much growed up and you can come with me, ok mom?”

The beauty that happens in that time is what life is all about.